Mirror, Mirror

Standard

So, yeah, I hate them.

I started practicing yoga in a super cheap gym. I found a few amazing teachers and got hooked. Classes took place in the “group exercise” room, which had mirrors on two walls. I didn’t mind at first.  I also didn’t wear yoga clothes for a few months. Then I did but I was so used to the mirrors that they didn’t distract me.

Then I started practicing at studios, most of which chose not to have mirrors. And I agree with their reasons. We focus on outward appearance to the detriment of so many other things in our society … not being able to SEE how your body looks in a pose makes you focus more on how your body FEELS the pose … I have had some pretty big body image issues and I think it helps me to avoid mirrors.

Now, though, after a mirror-free period of several years – they are back. I practice in a place with mirrors and am committed to practicing there for at least a few more months. I chose this location and stand by my choice.

Still, the mirrors. I let myself get distracted by them. I look and look and hope I look thin rather than too large. I position myself in certain ways because of how I look, not because I am thinking about alignment. “Stop that” is easier said than done. It sounds like vanity…but vanity is a choice. Lots and lots of people have judged me – and others who are not or were not “thin enough” – negatively. That wasn’t my choice, but it affects how I feel now.

Mirrors can be helpful for alignment. It’s really, really hard for me to tell if my hips are squared forward in Warrior 1 or revolved crescent. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to get used to mirrors so much that they no longer matter. I’m just not there yet.

But where I am is: even though I don’t like the mirrors, I go practice at this place for the reasons I have. I wear the same yoga clothes. I see myself in a way I perceive as unflattering, and this is unpleasant for me, but I can let go of that thought and not let it ruin my day. Five years ago, I would have given up. This isn’t 100% where I want to be, but it is progress.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s